Hazardous Holiday Visits
by c-wolf
Summary: By Red Witch's go ahead, this story works in conjunction with her story "Holidays are Hazardous to Your Health" Forge goofs up. Multiple cross, be prepared to laugh.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: My mind has gone wacky. So I'll just say this. I do not own X-men Evolution, any of Red Witch's ideas, GI-Joe, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Or the Three Stooges. The character known as Hacks is my own creation.

Thanks to Red Witch telling me to go for it, this story is working in conjunction with "Holidays are Hazardous to Your Health"

- - - -

Hacks: Broke into a secure server at a Nato conference on a dare, and somehow got control of the devices that the translators used to communicate with the representatives. The results were interesting.

Last known location: Tried to rob a bank in St. Louis only to discover they were bankrupt.

- -

There were times in which Xavier wished that Forge wouldn't tinker around… this was one of them.

BANG

Logan ran into Forge's lab, and paused.

Forge stood there covered in dirt with a shocked look on his face, and smoke drifting up from his clothes.

"Forge?"

He turned to them dazedly. "Aren't the fireworks starting early?"

'WHAT?"

Behind the crazy inventor, was a machine of some sort. Three figures stood in it. Then everyone slowly backed up when they heard the immortal words.

"Hey Moe, what happened?"

"Shud up." SMACK

"Aw he didn't do nuttin."

"Who asked you?!" SMACK

Logan started banging his head against the near wall.

- - - - - - -

Xavier sighed. "Forge, what did we tell you about inventing?"

"That I should think before I did it… which I did."

"For how long?"

Forge scratched his head, then looked at Xavier sheepishly. "Thirty minutes."

"Well, at least you took longer than you did with the shrink ray."

"Will I ever live that down?"

snikt

"Forget I asked."

- - - - - - - -

Shipwreck and Covergirl teleported in with the babies. Then she got hit by a pie.

She glared around. "Who did that?"

Curly slowly backed up. "I swear, it was an accident."

"Really…"

Moe and Larry had just gotten finished talking to Xavier. They didn't understand most of what went on however.

"I'm mortified. What are we supposed to do?"

"Don't look at me?"

Moe glared. "Did I ask you?"

Logan was walking through the hallway, when he got slammed into by Curly. They both flew past Moe and Larry.

"Woo-Woo-Woo"

Moe looked at a glaring CoverGirl. "What'd the lame-brain do?"

"Hit me with a pie, what else? Why do you look like Moe from the three stooges?"

"Who?"

Xavier groaned. "I just got finished drying the carpet from the Misfits last visit… did you really have to have a food fight?"

Moe elbowed Larry. "Don't worry, we'll get right on it." Then they ran out to get Curly.

"WAIT!" Xavier yelled, but they were already gone. He rubbed his head. "I need a drink."

- - - - - - -

Several figures stood outside the mansion grounds.

"Hacks, have you got the system down yet?"

"Give me a minute will you? It's state of the art."

"I thought you specialized in that."

"It's still hard. Ah got it."

"Shall we?"

As they snuck through, they noticed the damaged front lawn. "The FOH said it would be messy, but I didn't realize how messy…"

BANG

They saw a laughing someone run out of the house followed by several teenagers with some type of powers.

"When I get my hands on you Jamie!" yelled a girl who was covered in red dye and feathers.

Hacks looked at his team. "And this is easier than the bank job in St. Louis how?"

- - - - - - -

Larry was waiting for Moe to get back with the cleaning supplies. He had found a violin and was playing very well. Teenagers, including the Misfits who hadn't left for Hawaii and Shipwreck who'd shown up at that point, sat enthralled.

Logan shook his head. "Never thought I'd see it."

Storm smiled. "Music does sooth the beasts…"

"Yeah, but the Misfits?"

Curly stood in the kitchen with a confused look on his face. Standing beside him was Kurt. Someone had to show him around. His parents were unpacking.

Curly shook his head. "Where's the food?"

"Ah, let me show you how we eat around here."

Xavier rolled by ten minutes later. He heard a BANG. The microwave door and a chicken leg flew past his head and imbedded in the wall.

"I said 20 seconds, not an hour."

Xavier sighed when he heard Curly's voice. "I'm sorry, I didn't know!"

Moe stood in the closet with his hands on his hips. "What is this?" He started knocking random bottles into the bucket. Then he pushed it, and a vacuum, along with some mops back toward the mess. He didn't notice that one of the Vaseline bottles that he'd managed to push into the bucket had splattered on the floor.

Curly walked by a little later, and noticed the mess. He took the remaining mop out and proceeded to mop the floor. He hummed as he moved the mop back and forth, all the way into the living room. The floor glistened behind him.

Xavier rolled along a minute later and screamed as he careened down the hallway at an accelerated rate.

- - - - - - - - -

Hacks and his team managed to sneak in… then they paused at the sight of a microwave door and chicken leg stuck in a wall.

"Reminds me of your cooking Charlie."

"Shut up."

They continued down the hallway, but stopped when they heard screaming.

"It's coming from behind us."

They turned, and got bowled over by Xavier.

Moe was using a mop on the walls to dry them up.

Larry picked a bottle and squirted it onto a cloth. He didn't notice that it said 'Polish Remover'. He started dusting the tables.

Curly grabbed a mop, and as he was turning, hit Moe on the head.

"You lamebrain! What's the matta with you!"

Curly smacked his hands down his face and looked at Moe in shock. "I'm sorry Moe…"

Moe grinned. "Really. Come here and show me."

Curly smiled and walked forward.

Moe slapped him on the head. "Now clean up the mess!"

Curly waved his hand at him and walked to the mop bucket. He took a mop and started trying to get the mess up. Not realizing that it was just getting slicker. Then all three heard screams. They turned, and yelled too.

Xavier and all five of the would be thieves screamed as they slid into the living room and flew out the living room window.

Curly glanced out. "Ooooh… Look!"

Xavier and his chair were lodged in between two tree branches. The one known as Hacks was tangled up with several dazed Jamies. The other four were being chased around by an angry Wanda that had just teleported in. She wasn't too happy with being landed on.

Arcade teleported in at that point. He looked around, then grinned. "Hacks! You didn't tell me you were coming here!"

He groaned. "I thought I got away from you…"

- - - - - - - - -

Xavier glared at the Three Stooges. "I should be mad, but you kept them from stealing something from us. Even if it wasn't intentional…. Just please, let the Misfits damage the mansion next time… it takes less time to clean up than the Vaseline."

A singed Forge walked in at that point, followed by Trinity.

Xavier sighed. "What did you do this time?"

"Well, it's like this…" as Forge spoke, a one eyed man walked up behind them. He was mumbling

"Saved the world, lost some people. Then this idiot…" Xander pointed at Forge. "Yanked me out of a friend's arms. She's already grieving. At least Trinity says that the watch is still operational, so I can get back there fairly quickly."

snikt "Come here Forge."

"Now Logan, I didn't mean it…" Forge ran away followed by a snarling Wolverine.

Xavier groaned.

Xander looked at him, then noticed a familiar figure. "YOU!"

Larry backed up. "What'd I do?"

"A chaos mage turned me into you on Halloween one year. Do you have any idea how many times I've had to cut my hair since then!"

- - - - - -

Xavier groaned again. "So, basically we can't send Moe and his friends back."

"Nope… the last bit where I pulled Xander out, overloaded it. The whole drive's erased somehow, so I can't find out where to put them."

"So we're stuck with them."

Shipwreck walked in. "No, actually we are…."

"WHAT!"

"They've decided to become Misfits, and take a side job as a cleaning crew for the mansion"

Xavier shook his head.

"Face it, after we got the Vaseline up, the place is actually cleaner than it was before."

Xavier groaned.

- - - - - -

Buffy paced back and forth. "Willow, anything?"

"Not yet… wait, he's in the house!"

"Where?!"

Andrew screamed.

They ran up the stairs and slammed open Andrew's bedroom door, then turned and started banging their heads against the doorframe.

Xander was tangled up with CoverGirl on one end of the bed. He was yelling as she hit him about the head. And Trinity was sitting on Andrew.

"CUTIE!"

He screamed and scrambled out from under them. He bowled over Buffy and Willow. Trinity followed along behind and chased him past some shocked potentials.

Xander stared up from the floor where CoverGirl had punched him to. "Hi Buffy…. Look what dragged me to their dimension and back…."

She groaned.

- - - - - -

The X-men were arguing with the Joes while the Misfits took bets.

"There is no way they're cleaning the mansion.!"

Cover Girl rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, they'd be the only misfits you wouldn't fight. And they don't seem to be scared by mutants."

"Probably because they're too stupid." Logan grumbled.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me."

Xavier shook his head. "By the way, you never answered me about this Buffy's dimension."

Cover Girl shuddered. "Don't ask… let's just say that all mutants everywhere have it easier than they have had it."

(Ok… let's get some questions taken care of. I first wrote a three stooges story called "Nyuking across the Hellmouth"… Xander wore a Larry Costume… in case you want to see who else became a stooge. I still laugh when I read it myself. Then I decided that it existed in the same universe as my Buffy meets the Misfits story. So, Voila)


	2. Screaming around the Christmas Tree

"Hey Moe, what are we doing?"

"Xavier said for us to go somewhere and fix something."

Larry scratched his head. "I thought he told us to go and get fixed…"

Moe glared. "That's what I said!"

Curly looked around the hallway they'd walked into. Then he noticed a door of some type. "Hey Moe, look!"

"Good eyes, Knucklehead."

As they walked in, they didn't notice a red light flick on.

"It's an elevator."

"Kind of fancy."

When they came out, they noticed some type of control room.

Curly walked over. "Nyuk, Nyuk. What do these do?"

Moe glared. "Don't touch those!"

"Ooops…"

"Whaddya mean oops?!"

Then they heard a resounding cry of "How'd Coyote get in here!" followed by maniacal laughter.

Moe looked at the other two. "Lets get out of here!" They ran into the elevator and then down the hallway.

Logan and Jinx who had come to the quietest place in the mansion for a moment of peace while Jamie's parents and Angelica's father handled things for a minute or two, were being chased around by a laughing coyote in a Santa suit.

"How'd he get here!"

Coyote laughed again. "The Mcguffin device can access satellites if you do it correctly… and I was in a Cobra computer for awhile!"

They screamed some more as they got pelted by chocolate pudding.

Upstairs in the control room, a button was pressed in with a light flashing above it. A sign above had the words "Forge put this in, don't press if you value your sanity."

- - - - - - -

"Couldn't you have put me in solitary?"

"Oh come on Hacks."

Hacks snarled at Arcade. "How many times do I have to tell you? Leave me alone!"

"Why? We're two geniuses. We can wreak havoc." Arcade cackled madly. "With the Misfits at our side, nobody can stand against us."

"Never mind, with these nutcases your lack of medication probably keeps your reflexes in shape."

They walked toward the chaos, wrapped up with gaudy Holiday cheer.

"Least I could do is stay the night… how bad could it get?"

"Hey Hacks."

"What now, Arcade?"

"I've got one of your laptops."

Hacks paused then turned. "It better not be damaged."

"Here you are." Arcade handed it over.

"Well, at least the weekend won't be a total loss."

Arcade looked around. "So what do you want to do?"

"Get away from you."

"But it's been awhile since we've hung out as friends."

"Since when are we friends!" Hacks yelled.

"Ah, what a kidder."

Hacks grumbled as he was dragged along.

Behind them, several waiters ran screaming out of a restaurant followed by a flaming dragon and a drunk parrot. Hank and Jean ran out after them.

"Lockheed! Bad Dragon! Get back here you crazy parrot!"

"So…"

Hacks stopped and grinned. "Actually I think I have an idea…"

"What?"

"The FOH sent me to the mansion. They probably knew that I don't have problems with mutants, so they avoided telling me. I think it's time they…. Donated some money to some worthy causes."

Arcade grinned. "Like you?"

"Some of it. I won't deny that. I also have a few friends in some key radio and tv stations…" He rubbed his hands together. "Oh yeah, this will be a wonderful Christmas."


End file.
